Bruno da Silva Pacheco, 1D
Some days ago, my friends Vinicius, 16, Rafael, 19 and I, 16, decided to do this trip to the U.S.. We agreed to come to Houston, a city near the U.S. border with Mexico. It was March 23rd when we got there. At first, my parents were worried and did not want to let me come, but I convinced them. We had saved the money - $9000 - in 9 months. But we still had another challenge: we wanted to get here by walking and taking rides from Mexico.
I took a lot of pictures of this deed. They're 87, so I can't send them through here. This is the picture of the city limit. Houston is a big city, and we have a lot of places to visit. My parents aren't here, but they loved the Houston from the pictures I sent them.
We did it! The challenge was overcome and so we got into the city in March 27rd, at 2:00PM. I was very excited. In the first moment, we went to eat something, so hungry we were! We ate at a McDonalds near our hotel. My hamburger was delicious and my coke freezy. After eating, I left my friends in the hotel and went shopping because I hadn't bought proper clothes for this trip. At night, as I was tired, I slept.
The Galleria Mall had lots of cool clothes, but they were very expensive, so I bought only a pair of jeans and 3 white T-shirts. That is the biggest mall I have ever been to in my life. My night was calm and I got up at 11:27 AM.
My day was simply fantastic! I believe next day will be too. I'm tired and, in 9 days we are going to go back to Brazil. This time, by plane. See you!
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| Galleria Mall |
Bruno, you text is cool, but still there were some stuff to fix. I've edited it a bit. Check it out. The main problems were related to organizing the ideas and telling them in the correct sequence. You did not write the last sentence of the first paragraph, which was meant to inform the reader about your day. You didn't do everything in a day, either. Some minor things, but I cold understand it all and it was really creative. Good job! 8,5
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